2021 In the Process
I tried to be religious in writing a new year’s resolution in the past, it is always difficult. Most of the time, I just want to go on with life, but sometimes I wanted to dare to dream.
I kept telling myself that I would write this some times in December, but I could not bring my lazy ass to do it, until today, the second week of 2021 already. It takes a solid good time and mood to contemplate how a year goes by and how another year should be. Last year put me into the element of anxiety back and forth to the point I just wanted to survive 2020, and that would be more than enough. But now that I have tasted a sweet piece of surviving, I want to get back to dreaming. So, here we go.
I will be a 26 years old woman in 6 days, and … to be completely honest, I want a lot to happen this year. Being a woman and 26 and jobless and single at the same time sucks. I want a piece of freedom at the same time I want to be bound to something. I am a complicated woman, I get it. So, yes, of course, my number one list is to get a job. I want to be financially stable on my own for once. I even want to settle down with life, I still cannot believe that 2021 might be the year when I am finally tamed **deep sigh**.
That is my ultimate wish this year, other than that is just some petty things/lists I would manage without having but let’s put it here, anyway.
- I want to get back to do language, it could be anything; maybe learning German all over again and get my certificate renewed, or French, or perhaps learn a new one like Spanish or Portuguese.
- I want to get back to reading, it sucks that I stuck with my phone a lot last year. Even though I watched a lot of documentaries, I still wish I read some books nevertheless. OK, I will start with a low bar, I wish to read at least 12 books, which means a book a month.
- I wish to visit a country I have never visited before, n’importe où.
- Maybe to finally do some domestic traveling, I have been longing to go to Karimunjawa or to Lombok for quite some time now.
- Buy a new laptop and or a phone. This … is not a wish-list, by seeing the actual condition of those devices of mine, sooner or later I will definitely need new ones.
- This is the point where I stopped writing and started thinking, “OK, what else do I want?” for quite some time. Still thinking. OK, the fact that I cannot get something immediately in my mind reassures me that that will be not as important as the lists above. I came to think that none of that list would work if I did not have the essentials; my family. I pray that my mom, my dad, and my siblings will be healthy and joyful throughout the year, so I could enjoy the good things that happen in my life together with them.
I guess I can add one or two things to the list later, but in the meantime, I can start working with those. I do not know what 2021 holds for me, but I hope it will be good or … it could be something bad, but hopefully not something beyond my capability. Fingers crossed.
Also, even though my family and basically almost everyone in my life has been bitching about me getting married soon, I -somehow- know it will not happen in 2021. I mean, getting a boyfriend maybe (a big big maybe), but surely not getting married. That means, yes, they all are welcome to complain/whine/bitch about it for the whole of 2021.
BUT, yes that is a hella big ‘but’, I am down to anything good that comes in my way this year. Mom advised me that I should be more receptive (?) yea, I am not sure about the exact word to describe it either, but the point is: I should be more open-minded and open-hearted to whatever the universe offers me this year, either a job or a husband. And yes, I will. My mom barely asks anything anyway, that is the least I can do; to be less resisting.
Alors, on-y-va! La vie est commencée.
